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<title>(cast all your spells and there you'll have) that good old fashioned razzmatazz by perpetualnovelboyfriend</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025560">(cast all your spells and there you'll have) that good old fashioned razzmatazz</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetualnovelboyfriend/pseuds/perpetualnovelboyfriend'>perpetualnovelboyfriend</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet, Blumentrio, I'm not promising smut but..., Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, a lil action, a lot of one long drawn out What Are We conversation, blumendrei, if this goes over five chapters send me to writer jail, no betas I die like molly, vague mentions of the rest of the nein, vague suicidal thoughts in the beginning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:20:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetualnovelboyfriend/pseuds/perpetualnovelboyfriend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Blumentrio get stuck in the Aeorian ruins and separated from the rest of the nein because it’s my fanfic and I do what I want</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Astrid/Eodwulf/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(cast all your spells and there you'll have) that good old fashioned razzmatazz</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know we all agree Astrid and Eodwulf super weren't in Eiselcross now but I write slow okay?</p>
<p>And who’s to say residuum doesn’t make the wild magic even more funky?</p>
<p>That’s it, that’s the pitch, I don’t have any good plot relevant reasons for anything, this s not meant to be plausible, I just wanted to make them stuck together and having to rely on Caleb.</p>
<p>I default to Astrid's POV because I am me, I realize it reads a little weird in some places, my bad.</p>
<p>CW for 'our mission is compromised, guess we'll die' thoughts in the beginning</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cold.<br/>
Astrid had never been so cold in her life. She’d said that on the journey to Eiselcross. She’d said it again plenty of nights, trailing this <em>‘Might Nein’</em> over the tundra. But now, buried in who knew how many feet of snow and ice and freezing rock, disoriented and dazed, she’s certain she’s right.<br/>
Her ears ring, but beyond that there is the familiar sound of loud, zemnian swearing. With a strangled groan, she digs and shimmies her way towards the noise. Eventually there is help from without - someone takes hold of her searching hand and helps pull her the rest of the way out.<br/>
Even outside of the cave-in it’s nearly impossible to see. Eodwulf’s ungloved hand searches clumsily for her face. She hisses as his fingers brush over new scrapes and bruises.<br/>
“You alright?”<br/>
“Nothing broken. You?” She puts a hand over his.<br/>
“Nothing broken.” He echoes.<br/>
There’s a fleeting feeling of guilt over the fact that they aren’t quite so concerned with the others. Or they hadn’t been. Not until another small string of zemnian curses sounds off from behind them. The response is instinctual, even after all these years. They dig together until they can get ahold of him.<br/>
Caleb, not Bren. They’d long since had that discussion and whatever had been left unsaid would just have to remain exactly that since they’d been found. They weren’t here for him. Not this time.<br/>
Astrid takes one arm, Eodwulf the other, and they haul him back to his feet together.<br/>
“I’m fine.” Caleb shrugs the both of them off almost instantly and takes a step away to begin brushing himself off. He’s already scanning the cave in, even in the dark. Whispering names until they become more frantic shouts. For the moment they feel they have to let him. There’s a flicker of arcane light as Caleb begins to cast. A second later a large ethereal cat’s paw is digging at the cave in.<br/>
“Caleb…” Astrid starts, but her heart sinks for him.<br/>
“Caleb stop.” Eodwulf finishes for her. “We aren’t getting out that way.”<br/>
“Why aren’t you trying?” He snarls.<br/>
Astrid and Eodwulf exchange a look. They’d managed, somehow, to avoid the subject entirely thus far. Wouldn’t want to put their new ‘friends’ ill at ease, best to just let their wizard worry about things like towers and lights.<br/>
But it is <em>just</em> the wizard now.<br/>
Astrid steps forward. She rolls up her thick layers of sleeves to expose the tattoos around her arms and begins to cast mage hand as well. For a moment it works. Like Caleb, she’s able to shove a way more ice and rock from the tunnel way, only to have more slide back into place. They wouldn’t’ve been able to dig out that way even if the spell didn’t catch, which it does. The maze work on her arm sparks green, burns bright hot. Her arm jerks and she dismisses the spell before anything can be hit by the errant mage hand.<br/>
Astrid huffs and rolls down her sleeves again. “It’s worse for Wulf. It seems being a living magical weapon doesn’t work so well in places like Eiselcross.”<br/>
Caleb swears, kicks at wall of rock and ice and when that comes up useless again sinks down in front of it. He tangles his fingers in his hair, still muttering to himself about their predicament.<br/>
“You said this place was massive, there’s bound to be another way out.” Eodwulf offers, but Astrid can hear the slight impatience in his voice. He’d never done well when he thought he might be trapped.<br/>
Astrid kneels down beside Caleb and apprehensively places a hand on his shoulder. “They’re on the other side of this with a clear way out and your guide. They’re better off than us.”<br/>
Of course, she doesn’t know this for certain. But his friends had already proven themselves to be the oddly resilient type, maybe even resourceful. Not quite the bumbling idiots they’d been promised, that was for sure.<br/>
When Caleb looks up his eyes are glazed over white with magic. Astrid gives a knowing grunt as she realizes he must be using his familiar to check up on the others.<br/>
“You think that’s the play then?” She asks Eodwulf quickly, while Caleb can’t hear, but never stops watching him.<br/>
“Gives us something to do at least…” He doesn’t sound confident in it, but he’s not wrong. Astrid sighs, not exactly looking forward to this either. She gives Caleb’s shoulder a squeeze to hurry him along. If he’d found the nein in any worse state than themselves she feared they would have something altogether different to contend with first.<br/>
“They’ll try and rescue me still. Stupid…” Caleb sounds oddly disappointed when he comes back to himself. Astrid thinks she understands though, even if it is a bit of projection on her part. He feels like a liability. And perhaps if things had shook out a little different he would have fixed that for them all. It’s what she and Eodwulf had been trained to do… They would probably be considering it now if Caleb were not there as well.<br/>
“Then we’ll have to move quickly to rejoin them.” She removes her hand from his shoulder to offer it in helping him back to his feet.<br/>
“The two of you can’t cast. The things down there were a hazard for even the six of us…”<br/>
“Your confidence in us is staggering, liebling. We do have other ways of defending ourselves.” She brushes aside her coat to show the rapier on her hip. It probably wouldn’t win them any fights against ancient magical experiments, but it might just buy them time. Some of them.<br/>
Caleb’s expression remains unreadable, but he accepts the help back to his feet.<br/>
They let him take the lead; Considering he’s the one who has been down here once before and the one who can still cast lights to follow. Through a conversation of looks, the pair slows until there is some distance put between them and their guide.<br/>
Eodwulf comes up beside Astrid, puts an arm around her and whispers in her ear, “What do you think the odds are we’re just going to be used as bait now?”<br/>
Astrid doesn’t stop watching Caleb as they walk. “Possible. I’d rather overestimate him in that regard than under.”<br/>
“Agreed. What do you think the probability of us getting what we came for is?” If they hadn’t already failed.<br/>
“We’ll have to get out of here in one piece first.”<br/>
“Quit whispering about me back there.” Caleb cuts through the near silence.<br/>
Eodwulf calls back without missing a beat, “Not our fault you have a nice ass.”<br/>
Astrid gives Eodwulf a shove before jogging to catch up with Caleb.<br/>
“If you thought he was ill behaved before…” She offers as she matches his pace, somewhere between trying to find the humor in it and apologetic. “He’s… He means well.”<br/>
Caleb doesn’t look anywhere but ahead. “You don’t have to apologize for him.”<br/>
The response stuns her and the fact that she hadn’t been anticipating it stuns her again. “I know that.”<br/>
“Good.” Caleb nods, but he still seems ill at ease. “Good.”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Later in their descent, Caleb’s familiar blinks back into existence, weaving around their feet like any normal cat before chirping and galloping down the tunnel ahead of them.<br/>
“I would like to scout ahead.” Caleb announces after that.<br/>
“Does this mean we’re stopping or carrying you?” Eodwulf smirks, but by his curt tone Caleb does not seem to find him so amusing.<br/>
“I do not need to be carried.”<br/>
“Here.” Astrid links arms with Caleb before it cane be discussed any further. Caleb nods, then looks ahead as his eyes white out with magic.<br/>
Eodwulf rests a hand on his shoulder and Caleb flinches, but he doesn’t stop the spell.<br/>
“Knock it off, Wulf.”<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“He’s not…” There were a lot of things Caleb Widogast was not. They both knew this. “He’s not happy we’re here. I’m not happy we’re here.”<br/>
“Well neither am I.”<br/>
“It’s not going to work.” Astrid warns through gritted teeth.<br/>
“What’s not going to work?” But his clearly feigned innocence tells her he knows exactly what she’s referring to. Astrid huffs, not feeling they have the time to finish this conversation before Caleb returns to being able to hear.<br/>
“Still good.” Caleb announces when he’s come back to himself. “No giant babies yet.”<br/>
“Please stop alluding to that being a problem we might have.” Astrid begs, but still means to be good humored. As much as a magicless mage can be in the face of whatever that was.<br/>
Caleb chuckles. “I told you two it was interesting down here.”<br/>
<br/>
They still can’t quite keep a conversation going as they walk on. There is an awkward halting rhythm to one of them attempting to do so, until another hits on a nerve and they all fall silent again. Or at least until someone can no longer stand the silence.<br/>
Caleb stops suddenly in the midst of their latest bout of silence and holds up a hand. After a moment he responds to some unheard message. For the moment everything about him lightens. “Yes, we’re alright. I saw you too. We’re going to go further in to find another way out.”<br/>
Another pause. Something sets a quirk to Caleb’s lips.<br/>
“If they’d like to get out of here alive as well they won’t let any harm come to me. Check in on us tonight though, please.”<br/>
Another pause, but this time the message comes to Astrid’s head.<br/>
“Please take care of Caleb! Do you know any healing spells? What about Eodwulf? Maybe you should try teleporting, maybe. We could meet you wherever!”<br/>
It is hard not to smile at the cadence of Jester’s voice. “We have no such spells at the moment I’m afraid. Teleportation would be up to Caleb, but I’m not keen on it at the moment.”<br/>
“Because of the residuum?” Caleb asks once no more messages come.<br/>
Astrid notes Eodwulf fidgeting with his sleeves as she answers. “Some. It’s already tricky business out here, is it not?”<br/>
“I suppose. Do you think a permanent circle would make a difference?”<br/>
“To arrive at? You won’t return to Rexxentrum and I don’t relish explaining why Wulf and I have popped up anywhere else.”<br/>
“What if I did take us all to Rexxentrum?”<br/>
“You won’t.” Eodwulf says. Warns. They wouldn’t let him.<br/>
“Caleb, if you need to go just yourself…” Astrid starts quietly. She doesn’t want to say it, but she knows she should.<br/>
“I can’t leave you down here alone.”<br/>
“We’d figure it out.” Eodwulf tries, but Astrid at least recognizes it as a hollow attempt.<br/>
“With neither of you even able to cast even the most basic spell? Come on, Wulf, I know she’s good with that rapier, but not that good. We don’t even know if there’s another way out.”<br/>
They fall back to silence again, too much tough questions ahead of them and not enough will to begin those discussions. Astrid begins walking first, then Caleb, then Eodwulf. For the moment, the marching order holds.<br/>
“When were you going to tell us you can’t cast here?” Caleb cant be hoping to fill the silence with that question, too similar to what they’d just avoided.<br/>
“I was thinking never.” Eodwulf grumbles first.<br/>
Astrid sighs and shrugs, but she doesn’t look back. “If it came up, it came up.”<br/>
“That seems a bit dangerous.”<br/>
“And telling a group of people that may very well want us dead that we are surrounded and at a disadvantage isn’t?” Astrid snips. It had been a dangerous secret to keep. It had been a dangerous thing to divulge with practical strangers. Eodwulf wasn’t the only one who didn’t do well when they felt stuck.<br/>
“They won’t hurt you.” Caleb’s voice is soft. Softer than either of them feel they deserve and they know that might even be the point.<br/>
“Maybe they should.” Eodwulf sounds too loud, too angry, in contrast.<br/>
“Stop that.” Caleb snaps, then regains control of himself. “We have an armistice, do we not? You can at least trust them with that.”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
There comes a point where they can’t walk any longer. There is a brief discussion about pressing on, making camp in that strange lab Caleb keeps telling them about, but in the end they decide none of them are interested in a potential scuffle without a rest first.<br/>
“So about that tower…” Astrid slides down against the tunnel walls. She isn’t being serious, but Caleb seems to miss that.<br/>
“That’s a… big spell, for three people.” He sounds genuinely regretful.<br/>
“Right.”<br/>
“Astrid, it’s not like that.”<br/>
“Well, now I’m offended that you thought I was offended. I’m not sleeping in a fucking snow bank, this is already a luxury.” She spreads her arms and leans into the wall behind her like she means it too.<br/>
“So you don’t want to snuggle?” Eodwulf feigns disappointment from his spot beside her.<br/>
Astrid makes a show of rolling her eyes, but self consciousness catches up to her and she glances over to Caleb.<br/>
He sits opposite to them, expression unreadable as ever, but seemed to have been intently watching. He laughs when he catches her watching him now.<br/>
“You two are still…” He trails off but the implication is clear.<br/>
“Stuck with each other.” Eodwulf finishes with a shit eating grin. It earns him a playful smack on the arm from Astrid, but she withers again under Caleb’s watch. He notices. They lock eyes. Everyone falls back to silence. At least until Eodwulf gets back to his feet abruptly, walking off as he mumbles about needing to take a piss.<br/>
The silence lingers. She expects it to until Eodwulf returns, but Caleb stops and starts until he finally finds his tongue again.<br/>
“I’m glad you’re here,” He says quietly. “Both of you.”<br/>
“No you aren’t.” She insists too quickly.<br/>
“You do not scare me, Astrid Beck.”<br/>
She frowns at the use of her whole name. Her eyes narrow as she tries to decipher the meaning of it. What game he’s playing now. “Maybe I should.”<br/>
“I don’t blame you.”<br/>
She only watches him, she hardly dares move at all. Clearly, he had further thoughts on the matter. The least she could do was hear them out.<br/>
“For what you’ve done, for what you still have to do. I don’t blame you.”<br/>
“Maybe you should.”</p>
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